Masturbators Anonymous, Page 1

Some commentors took the Jehova’s Witness reference as an insult. Personally, I find it stressful when anyone comes to my door, more so if they want to talk about religion. If someone knocks on our door, I sneak to the front window over the door and slant the blinds down so I can see who it is. If it’s not a delivery person with a large, tempting looking Amazon.com box, I won’t budge. What could someone at the door possibly have to say (that wouldn’t involve me giving them a jumpstart, keeping an eye out for their long-gone cat, or being coerced to sign some petition or buy some cookies I didn’t even want to eat in the first place because they are nothing but refined carbs and saturated fats but know I will eat anyway because they are choco-minty delicious)?

Drop the box and step away from the door.